Saturday, 26 September 2009

Carrot, Egg and Coffee Bean

Yesterday evening i went for foot reflex at orchard central (my ah kim is at funan) and the guy (Dennis) press press press and hit a spot so i AAHHHH! v loudly... he glanced at me...

dennis: did you get very upset? this part means your "fire" very big...

wow... he is so accurate. yes, i was very upset about something yesterday afternoon. it's something i can't really blog about but i told a couple of close people about it, cried, prayed and felt better although when i think about it, i'd still get a little peeved. chris understands how i felt and why i felt the way i felt... he stroked my head (as though i am west) and gave me a hug, made me feel better... still when i am alone, i can't help but dwell on it, ponder and think, replay it in my mind, get upset again, try not to think about it, pray, then the whole cycle repeats itself until time passes and i slowly feel better... but i believe that time can only ease hurts/pains/disappointment etc, it can never eradicate it.

the sad thing is, some times when something like that happens, when i feel hurt, a part of me dies. that part gets hardened and i become incapable of the same emotion as i used to (or at least not in the same intensity). some times i shut that part of me out from the world totally until one day i am ready to show it to others again.

i once read a story about a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean. they're all placed in boiling water and after 20 mins, the carrot has gone soft, the egg has hardened and the coffee bean, well, something different has taken place. all three went through the same "adversity" (the hot water) but they reacted differently. the carrot initially hard and strong has gone soft, the egg initially fragile and soft has hardened and the coffee bean? it has changed the water... of cos everyone should strive to be a coffee bean but is it really that easy? i think it's v difficult.

what am i? i think i am an egg... so what r you?